My friend Jaime and the American diet?
Meet Jaime. Jaime is a friend of mine that I met a few years ago. In fact, I was the one who was in charge of training him for his new job. Overall, I wouldn’t say Jaime was remarkable in any way. If you didn’t know any better, you’d just assume that he was just another guy, like me. Oh well of course you can tell that Jaime isn’t from here, what with his accent and looks and all, but he works hard and is a real good guy. I think I met Jaime about a year or two after he came to America. I remember him telling me he’s been working real hard to earn enough money to bring his parents and siblings over here too. Must be hard, being single and in a strange land. That’s why I try to help him as much as possible. The guy already has a hard life so it’s the least I can do to help him out every now and then, right? That actually brings me to why I’m talking to you today. You see, recently Jaime’s health has been concerning me. He’s been gaining a lot of weight and I know exactly what’s causing it. The thing is I just can’t seem to get him to see things my way. Here, let me tell you a little more about what’s going on.
Let’s see, where to start. Well, let me tell you more about Jaime. Jaime is roughly my age, about 28—maybe 30 at the most. I never stopped to ask, it doesn’t seem that important. We work together in a branch office of one of those big, faceless corporations. I’m in charge of proofing documents; a real snore. Jaime does a lot of the filing and data entry for our department. I asked Jaime once if he did something like this back home. His response was that he did something similar only without the desk, the computers, and with a lot more fishing and scaling instead. A real cut-up this guy. I’m getting off-track again. Like I mentioned earlier, I met Jaime only a few years after he immigrated. I was really taken by surprise when I learned this as Jaime didn’t seem to have any problems fitting into our culture at all. He just kept his nose to the grindstone and did his job. I can’t really think of anything else that you need to know about Jaime, so I’ll get on with this story. I bet you’re about to nod off anyway!
When I first met Jaime, he was a real normal looking guy. No wait. That came out wrong. He was skinny you know? Not fat at all. But recently, he’s been getting…let’s say, “Chubby,” for lack of a better term. I’d love to say that it was a surprise, but I sort of always expected this to happen. Why? Because Jaime is a meat-eater—that man loves him some beef and chicken. He also tends to eat out a lot at burger joints and the local fried chicken joint. I’m actually not too surprised at his choice in venues. As far as I can tell, Jaime lives alone and probably doesn’t know how to cook. Actually I’m sure he doesn’t know how to cook. I still have nightmares about that time we convinced him to man the grill at the last company picnic. Those poor birds. Um, but anyway, back to the problem at hand. I’m not even sure if I should keep pursuing this issue, but I’m afraid he’s getting caught up in America’s obesity problem. Jaime looks perfectly happy about what he eats so, maybe I shouldn’t say anything. Still, given where Americans as a whole are going, I don’t want Jaime’s family’s first impression of their “Americanized” son to be of a wheezing, obese one.
I tried being real subtle at first; I know I wouldn’t want anyone to be in my face about something like this. Maybe it’s a language thing; I’m not sure, because I always felt my attempts to hint at his poor diet choices to be brushed off. I think he understands what I’m trying to say. I mean, he’s a smart guy and never has any problems doing his work, after all. But sometimes it’s like we’re speaking different languages, you know? I say stuff, he nods , but I can’t be sure if he actually hears what I’m saying. I know what you’re going to say: “Stop being subtle then!” Well I tried that too, it didn’t work out so well. I think I was too pushy because Jaime doesn’t seem to want to talk to me as much anymore. He also has stopped eating lunch with me. I would’ve thought he stopped eating lunch altogether, but I often see the remains of his latest foray to the nearby burger joint in his trash bin. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. What did I do? Well I tried to get him to eat more salads one time—when I took him out to lunch. He just balked at the price of salads and ordered the sausage brunch special instead. I tried showing him brown rice, but I think I may as well have kicked a puppy with the look of horror he gave me after trying some. I even tried being blunt and told him that he should ease up on the red meat. He just gave me another one of those smiles and nods and well, let’s just say I don’t think I had any impact on his eating habits.
It’s real frustrating for me, you know? I mean, I thought we were friends—that we’d help each other out. I know he helps me whenever I need a hand and I really appreciate that. But he just doesn’t seem to appreciate my help. I may as well be talking to a brick wall for all the effect I’ve had on him! Sorry, I should stop ranting now. It’s just, I find myself resenting Jaime a bit for ignoring my advice like this. I’m trying to help him be healthier here. I don’t know. What do you think? Should I just drop the issue? I’d feel awful though if Jaime develops health problems in the future though. If I keep pushing, I feel as if we wouldn’t be friends anymore. I’m just not sure what to do.
Debrief
So what’s going on with Jaime and his friend? Certainly it seems reasonable to be concerned about a friend’s eating habits; especially if it is leading them down the path of poor health. But why is Jaime so adamant in not eating healthier? Of course there are countless reasons and possibilities for this behavior, but this being a series of bicultural stories, we’ll go with that one for the time being. And please do keep in mind that this is only one of many possible explanations for a situation that Jaime’s friend is facing.
What we have here is a difference in values on the cultural level. In many countries across the world, the resource that we call food has different implications depending on where you are. In Jaime’s case, as in the case of many other immigrants, his heritage culture places a high value on meat. In many countries, meat is seen as a luxury; a sign of wealth. You know you’ve made it big if you can put meat on the table every day. What do you do to celebrate significant events? You spend a little extra on meat to serve your guests, of course! But on a day-to-day basis, only a small amount of meat is served; usually alongside plenty of grains (such as rice) and vegetables. This is quite healthy, you say? But of course! But health isn’t usually the only purpose of the vegetation and grains.
Instead, these things are usually served to make the meal a little more filling—to make the meat go a little further. Needless to say then, is that products such as beef or poultry are often relatively expensive compared to vegetables in many countries. On the other hand, vegetables are often very inexpensive as they are quick to grow and can even be grown in the back yard in a pinch. Cut to America where almost the opposite is true. Here, meats and vegetables are equally easy to come by. However, with exception for the prime cuts of beef, meat, pound-for-pound, cost about the same as vegetables in the grocery store. In fact, sometimes vegetables can cost more than meat (I can think of no better example than the recent trend to consume dandelion greens). Suddenly, vegetables become relatively expensive and meat relatively inexpensive in comparison. Thus, having meat on the table everyday becomes a reality. This does not include fast food restaurants (where you can get a burger for a buck and some change, what a value!) and other luxuries such as desserts and candies. Suddenly you’re in a place where all those things denied to you are readily available. Who wouldn’t indulge?
Questions to consider
- Switch roles. You are now the narrator of this story:
- Obesity is a major concern in America right now and you see your friend quickly headed in that direction. What do you do?
- Assume what you did is the same as the narrator. Jaime seems to be offended by your attempts to help him, what do you do now?
- How do you feel when your friend rejects all your help?
- Could you remain friends with Jaime?
- Put yourself into Jaime’s shoes:
- Your friend is constantly telling you what you are doing is wrong, how do you react?
- You have a choice: Unlike in your home country, it is very easy to obtain meat; something you would only eat sparingly in your home country. Do you lean toward meat or the more expensive vegetable products that you used to eat to make each meal go a little further?
- How can you get your friend to stop telling you what you are doing is wrong?
- What does Jaime’s past work as a laborer have to do with this current situation?
- It is undoubtedly unhealthy for Jaime and his family to continue eating this way, how could you help Jaime, knowing what you do now, find a compromise between eating healthy and eating the things he was deprived of when he was younger?